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Monday, May 30, 2016

Making an Expat Transition Easier

When we take an adventure and plan a relocation from our home country to a foreign land we are so excited we generally focus on positive experiences – the learnings we will have, the places we will go, the great people we will meet and the fabulous food we will savour.  However, becoming an expat does have its hardships or personal stretches, I like to call them.   Over time and reflection these stretches lift our personal growth and offer a positive change within us -- we become global citizens and see the world in a different lens.

Many of us who have travelled, lived in foreign lands and had great adventures, have spent time coping with the challenges or immersing ourselves into a new culture.  Usually, this is one of the many times I give thanks to Canada and our culture diversity as there is little we have not experience in some form in our land either with language, food or culture.   

If we are relocating our home we want to acclimatize ourselves to the change as quickly and as graciously as possible.  We want to be out and about experiencing the glorious gifts another land, continent and people can offer us based on the simplicities of a wondrous life.     If you’re making the move from tourist to expat, read on for advice on how to make the most of your time abroad.

Plan for the Unknown


It was a hard lesson for my first relocation as I gain insight and attempt to plan for the relocation.  Lesson from the experience was we cannot plan for the unknown.  Of course, do your research on neighbourhoods to live, expat resources, cultural customs, and transportation modes in order to have some sense of what you are walking into before you land on foreign soil to begin a new expat adventure.    The most valuable step I took was to connect to social media groups and foster friendships in my new home city.  I had friends within hours of arriving at the Green Tea House Inn in Beijing, or had a network of girlfriends when walked out of King Abdulaziz International Airport in my abaya.  It was a comforting to know there were people who knew and cared about me as I ventured out into the unknown.

Having the network of friends offer a safe place to share insight, learnings and frustration, and most of all, seek advice as I made the transition and settled in my new home city both in its landscape and people.

Connect with People

Learning of a place can be found in the tourist guidebooks, however to really understand a place and its people look to locals or your new neighbours to help you settle as a resident.   
Invite a neighbour over for coffee or a glass or wine (or the appropriate customs of your new home), or take a colleague for lunch.   The more people your meet the more you will learn of the culture, social rules and customs of your new home.

Getting to know people, anywhere, takes time.  Let your new relationships develop and settle naturally and be patient. After a while, your will realize that your have established yourself in the social network, and have become part of the community – as long as you stay open and friendly, putting yourself out there to share a conversation or offer a helping hand if the opportunity arises.  We need a connection to people from home.  It helps with our emotional adjustment to our new home.  Go to the expat clubhouses, Embassy events, and restaurants and foster relationships with native speakers who share similar ideals, and values. Although they will share insight and value to your transition, the gifts will come from the unexpected.  Smile and be open to it.

Establish a Routine


Routines make us feel safe.  They are important to our adjustment as we find our way in a new home.   It’s taking small steps so people will see you.  Add to the routine each week, as it will keep you flexible and open to the opportunities, which arise to connect to the place and people.  

My favourite city in the world is Paris and for my forty and fabulous birthday I was given a flat for enjoy for a time. I loved it.  My command of French was far stronger in reading and writing, however with my regular routine of stopping into the local cafĂ© for my breakfast, or picking up groceries, over time I was able to build a connection through smiling, connecting with people and building my confidence to speak French.  I wasn’t an unknown to the local retailers, and I felt comfortable by the end of the first week of my arrival.

Keep a part of your routine from home.  It will make the transition easier too. You have to be able to connect to your past life in order to move forward in your new life.    Continue your yoga or mediation or if you are a runner go explore. Take up a dance class, or enroll in a language program.  It’s a great way to learn and most of finding the connection with people and the place in order to build a new life.

Walk


Explore your new city by walking it. There are endless opportunities build the connection and savour the beauty of the landscape, streets, history and culture

If walking becomes part of your routine it will help support your transition, learning of the new city, however if you are in a place where the personal stretch is causing grief, walking helps the soul heal – walking will make you happy!    Walking my golden retriever, Maple in a compound Jeddah offer wonderful gifts both in building friendships with people around the world, as well as connect to the nature through the never-ending date trees and beautiful array of flowers.


To Be


Taking an adventure is a perfect opportunity to rid of an inner mask of what is expected, and what you really, wish to be. It is to cleanse of expectations and find your inner peace and be happy with the moment rather than planning for next year.

It is an ideal time to kick a bad habit like smoking because shifting daily patterns makes it easier, or it helps rid ourselves of other devices such as a television, which can numb us from the experience.

Follow the Customs


Embrace change as it surrounds you when you decide to be an expat for a time. Embrace the customs of your new home.  Although fitting our old customs into our new life brings immediate safety and comfort in the long term it will lead to frustration and isolation. 


If you live in a place where it is now customary to eat dinner at 10pm, eat dinner at 10pm.  Make the most of it, and incorporate local customs into your life.  It will make you happier and the experience far richer.

Lori Ann Comeau is a career coach for the education profession, founder and president of Tulip Canada of boutique of recruitment services to support both the education community and the profession. For advice on filling an employment role submit a job spec here. If you are interested in a teaching adventure please submit a resume here. Follow her on twitter at @tulipcanada or Facebook.